A Helping Hand

A Helping Hand

The latest issue of Independent School Parent magazine features an article by our Head of Pastoral and Boarding, Gail McFadden. In it, Mrs McFadden shares insight from years of helping families to find, and children to thrive at, senior school:

“When I meet a family for the first time, I shake the daughter’s hand first, before introducing myself to parents. It’s a small gesture, but one that sums up our attitude to education and pastoral care – that our students come first, and our priority is ensuring they’re welcome and happy.

It’s these sorts of clues – the little things, really – that can help to give you a real insight into whether a particular school is the sort of place that your child will be happy. Do the pupils say good morning as you tour the school? Are the bedrooms cosy and inviting? Does the Principal talk about your daughter, or to her? As much as anything, it’s the feeling you get as you take time to absorb the atmosphere of the school – is this somewhere your child will thrive, or as you drive away do you simply feel as though you’ve survived an interview process?

As you look around a school for the first time, you’re essentially experiencing a condensed insight into the ethos and values of the school. At Kilgraston, you’re being welcomed to the family, so you’ll be introduced to everyone (including the catering staff, librarian and playground assistants), asked to stay for lunch, and your child will be offered the opportunity to come and stay with us for a taster day (and overnight, if they’re considering boarding).

When you find the right school for you, the first few days - settling in - are always the most nerve wracking, and a school’s approach to welcoming a new pupil is key. Check how your child will be welcomed to the school, and what systems are in place to ensure they settle in happily. Buddy programmes such as our BFGs (Big Friendly Girls), are a reassuring indicator that the school places appropriate emphasis on enabling children to develop a range of supportive relationships, and helping them feel a part of the school community.

Kilgraston’s BFGs was established by our Head Girls, and is designed to give pupils the benefit of a ‘big sister’ figure in the upper sixth. Any girl can request support from a BFG by popping a pink slip into a postbox in the dining hall. Our younger girls (‘LFGs’ – no explanation needed for that acronym), can turn to their BFG on issues of any scale – from a quick chat or a question about a particularly tricky assignment, right up to formal academic mentoring, shared activities and group outings.

The LFGs in the younger boarding houses have benefitted enormously from the buddy scheme, and previously shy girls have noticeably come out of their shell and immersed themselves in all aspects of school life. It’s been particularly valuable to pupils who are new to the school, or those who need extra support to settle in to the routine and rhythms of life at Kilgraston. The scheme has also been a fantastic means of integrating year groups, and sixth formers are now a regular feature in the prep school and lower boarding houses, where they’re greeted with hugs and quickly surrounded.

Whilst our BFGs undergo specific training in safeguarding and welfare, and have access to ongoing support from the senior team, they’re not – of course - a substitute for the more formal pastoral system. Rather, they play a complementary role that aligns perfectly with the family-like ethos of Kilgraston. If a parent wonders how their daughter will fit within our bustling school community, or is anxious about the prospects of a shy or quiet child, our BFGs offer a welcoming hand, a trusted arm around the shoulder, and a quiet word of support”.